You want me to do what?

Board member:  Look, I appreciate that we have heaped a bunch of responsibilities on your plate but if you haven’t noticed, we’ve lost 110 members over the last two years.

Person now in charge of keeping new members happy, preventing “about to leaves from leaving”, and getting new members:  Well, then what is it you want me to do?  I can’t think of anything I have personally done to lose all of those people?

Board member 2:  We’re not trying to place blame.  We are trying to figure out what to do going forward.  For instance, we have 10 outside events coming to the club this year...what are you going to do different this year than last year?

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  What do you mean do different?  What am I supposed to do?

BM1:  We were wondering how you are going to market to all of these people?

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  Market to them (are these guys off their rocker?)?  They are coming to the club already.  I did market to them.  Guys, I give lessons.  I oversee the restaurant.  I fill in at times in the Pro shop.  I am super busy (that is going to cut into my personal time a bunch).  

BM2:  We know you are busy, but is there anything you can think of “outside of the box” to maybe pull these people visiting in?

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  Like what (the nerve of these people)?  I mean, how much can I really do when my staff has been cut down to the bone?

BM1:  I’ll give you that times are tough, but that isn’t completely economy driven is it?  I mean, do you really think all 110 members just quit playing golf completely or did they just quit playing here?

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  GUYS (these people must think I’m Superman), listen, I do the best I can with what I have but you can’t lay the blame on me.  Look, what is it you want me to do?

BM2: We were hoping you might come up with some creative way to market to these people, that’s all.  Do you have any ideas?

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  Can you just spell out what it is you want or maybe brainstorm over some ideas that the board might want and then I’ll see if I can implement them?

BM1:  I know this sounds like we are asking a lot, but we don’t have 400 members any more.  We can’t meet ad nauseam.  We don’t have the time.  We are hurting.  You know our budget.  We are simply asking for you to think of ways to pull these people in.  Think about it for a second.  We have 100 potential guests coming in 10 separate times this year.  What if you took a day and contacted every one of them and out of those calls 3 people joined per tournament?  We would have 30 new members!

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  So you want me to contact 100 people after each tournament...guys, you have to be kidding (these people are officially nuts)...

BM2:  No, we aren’t.

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  My plate is so full right now though.  It seems like you want a salesperson and when you hired me, I thought it was to be the Pro/GM/Assistant Pro.  Maybe what we really need is a salesperson on staff to handle this?

BM1:  We were hoping you might take that on until we get more members?

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  I wouldn’t even know where to start...but I guess I can try (I need to find another job).

BM2:  What do you mean you'll try?  We have cut everything except your pay since this entire member exodus started.

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM:  Guys, you are blaming the wrong person.  I have taken on a ton more responsibility and have not asked for one cent more.

BM1:  And that has not gone unnoticed.  But we aren't having a management problem right now, we are having a sales problem.  Or maybe I'm wrong?  Maybe it's both?  I mean...if we would have managed things better and really loaded people up with reasons to stay, they would still be here now minus the few that the economy truly did take out.

PNICOKNMHPATLFLAGNM: I think if we just give this until next spring, things will turn around...